Smut Swap 2017

[minebyrights]

It's time to get smutty as hell, and I for one am thrilled. Whoever you are and whatever ships and/or kinks brought you here, I hope you find this fun, rewarding, and low on stress.

The following skirts the lines of TL;DR, but I want to emphasize that I am genuinely in love with all of these relationships and kinks, as well as desperate for fic for them, so anything you produce that doesn't hit my squicks will be A++. This is mostly me throwing ideas at the walls and seeing what sticks; if you have something roiling around in your brain you really want to write for these ships/kinks, go for it! Sections and particular kinks might have more or less detail, depending, but that's mostly arbitrary and shouldn't be taken as "I like this thing more than another."

Blatant PWP or something with a little more set-up are both fine, however it shakes out for you. I specifically requested just fic for all for matching purposes, but if for whatever reason you read this and want to draw, I will gladly take and love your art as a treat as well.

If you want to find me in the wild, I'm:
theoldgods
theoldgods
minebyrights
minebyrights

And with that, on to the letter itself!

Likes and Dislikes | The Americans (TV 2013) | The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison | 아가씨 | The Handmaiden (2016) | Kingsman (Movies) | Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen | Sherlock (TV) | A Single Man (2009) | Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - All Media Types

LIKES AND DISLIKES

General Likes: worldbuilding, Holmes/Watson dynamics, bickering and bantering like old marrieds, clothing descriptions (especially period clothing, suits, kilts, tall boots), hands and feet, bathing and cleaning one another, adrenaline junkies and partners in crime, found families, snow/winter/autumn settings, 5+1s/vignettes with some thematic growth/resonance, daemons

Kinks That Are Always Welcome, Requested or Not: undercover work and casefic, bedsharing, huddling for warmth, fake relationships/fake married, clothed sex, frottage/intercrural/nonpenetrative sex, dubcon (sex pollen etc), drunk sex, light/casual BDSM (especially with subby men), topping from the bottom/pushy bottoms, oral sex, dirty talk, threesomes and moresomes, open relationships, masturbation, outdoor sex, sex in cars/in water/on the beach/on tables/against walls/on the floor/on couches/etc, voyeurism/exhibitionism, voice kink, talking to orgasm

Please no: first or second person POV, pregnancy/childfic, deathfic, angst without some light at the end of the tunnel, horror/gore/vore, character bashing, AUs (except canon divergence, future fic, and daemon AUs), tentacles, body horror/extreme body modification, omegaverse, rape/noncon as a focus of the fic (mentions of past are fine), scat/watersports, anything dealing with the sexual humiliation of women (even for kink) (exception to this is some femslash—see below where relevant)

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THE AMERICANS (TV 2013)

I love The Americans for so many reasons: the period piece setting, their flawless use of 70s and 80s music, the subtle pisstakes they do of Reagan, the gray morality/use of antiheroes, the deliberate blurring of lines and parallels between Americans and Soviets (both legal and illegal) and their relationships with their governments, the action, the black humor, the absurd wigs and costuming. With these various relationships, I'm all about exploring those levels of gray, the life of spies, the adrenaline thrills they get, the claustrophobia of Soviet office relationships, Elizabeth exploring women, the blurring of selves over time as American and Soviet worlds collide and absorb one another, etc.

Ships

• Arkady/Oleg: God, these two looking out for one another despite themselves <3 Hatesex in Arkady's office in S2? Oleg pranking Arkady (about the radio room?) and it going wildly out of control? D/S (either configuration—Arkady taking Oleg out of his worries about his dad or Oleg taking Arkady out of his worries about being Rezident and/or being kicked out of the US)?
  
• Elizabeth/Philip: I love the way they play with gendered expectations, the contrast of idealism and practicality, the arranged marriage set up, the vicious adrenaline that their lives are drenched in, the "us against the world" feeling that waxes and wanes, the constant negotiation involved in their lives. All the classic spy tropes are welcome, and several others besides; the main thing I ask is that you keep some sense of the danger and complexity that stalk their every waking moments, even if only in deep background.
  
• Elizabeth/Young-hee: I really loved Young-hee in S4, and I felt so extremely bad for her (never knowing what would become of "Patty") and, yeah, bad for Elizabeth for having to do something she really, aggressively did not want to do there. I loved how you could tell that Elizabeth—Nadezhda—genuinely liked her as a person, not just within the Patty persona, and how it got to tear Elizabeth up, emotionally, while also giving us such a good side character in Young-hee, how they could relate over being immigrants (even though only Elizabeth knew they were both immigrants). Any scenes of their evolving friendship and its duplicity would be fantastic, and feel free to kink hard on the identity fuckery going on here.
  
• Oleg/Tatiana: I loved them playing off each other in season 4, their sex that seemed mostly for release but also the respect they have there. Canon divergence where Oleg goes with her to Kenya? Tatiana as Rezident after all in the States with Oleg at her side? More reminiscences of the Soviet Union? Office sex and Oleg trying to prove his loyalty to her? Her punishing him for his betrayal?
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Alternate Universe - Daemon Sex: How would daemons work in the world of spycraft? Are spies' daemons always unsettled to enable them to better disguise themselves? Any and all sex, consensual daemon touching, getting used to each other's daemon, etc. welcome, as is focusing on how daemons react in sex (do daemons...jerk each other off, or something?)
  
• Competence Kink: Someone gets seriously aroused watching the other at work, be it gun handling, beating the shit out of someone, being a damn good fuck during a honey pot, arguing ferociously during a meeting, perfectly executing some Machiavellian stroke...
  
• Cunnilingus: Oleg eating out Tatiana on her desk, Philip eating Elizabeth, Elizabeth practicing her skills on Young-hee (and accepting the returned favor?)
  
• Disguise Kink: Is there a particular disguise Elizabeth or Philip finds particularly fun on the other? Does one of the Soviets have to go briefly undercover for something, driving the other wild?
  
• Drunk Sex: "I can't stand you unless we're drunk" early Elizabeth/Philip, drinking to dull the pain of the Rezidentura/Soviet incompetence, Elizabeth and Young-hee getting pleasurably drunk and then very pleasurably handsy...
  
• Fake/Pretend Relationship: Situations when E+P had to pretend to be some OTHER married couple, and how it plays into their IRL fake relationship? Elizabeth and Young-hee end up in a lesbian bar and it turns real for the night? Oleg and Tatiana needing to sneak into some event?
  
• Identity Porn: Nearly everything Elizabeth/Young-hee, of course—the fake stories Elizabeth pumps to her and what Young-hee likes about her. But also Elizabeth and Philip tentatively getting to know Misha and Nadezhda, or Arkady and Oleg exchanging words about their pasts or fucking each other without realizing it or...
  
• In Public: On a mission, Elizabeth and Philip have to get handsy. (Public or semipublic, whatever works.)
  
• Language Kink: E+P are not supposed to speak Russian in the US. They're not. They know they're not. But sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's going to happen anyway. Young-hee teaches Elizabeth some fun phrases in Korean. The Soviets play around in and out of English and Russian (roleplaying one being an American and one being a Soviet?)
  
• Laughter during Sex: Elizabeth and Young-hee have very friendly, honest, laughing sex. Elizabeth and Philip having a momentary good time with their lives for once.
  
• Loyalty: Oleg trying to prove his loyalty to Arkady or Tatiana. Elizabeth and/or Philip trying to win over the other after a rough day (Philip proving how much he loves Elizabeth after Martha's departure?). Elizabeth unable to stop herself from doting on Young-hee before the end.
  
• Office Sex: All of the Rezidentura, of course, momentarily loosening up (or not) before going straight back to work. Elizabeth and Philip late at night alone in the travel agency.
  
• Pegging: Tatiana using Oleg's ass, tbh. Also if you want to write Elizabeth and Young-hee having fun with stap-ons, I'm sold.
  
• Reunion Sex: Elizabeth and Philip are separated for a mission and when they're back together, all the frantic/desperate/maybe even somewhat slow sex happens. Oleg and Tatiana reunite after one or the other is sent away. Arkady and Oleg try reuniting somewhere (Arkady is unbanned? Oleg returns to Russia and sees him again?)
  
• Sex in a Car: It's canon! But surely it's happened more than once, out on the hunt, Elizabeth and Philip desperate for one another or just to forget some shit they've seen. Elizabeth and Young-hee having nowhere else to fuck. Cheesy 80s sex music optional but welcome.
  
• Vaginal Fingering: Elizabeth and Young-hee working each other frantically. Philip trying to please Elizabeth. Oleg trying to prove himself to Tatiana.
  
• Wall Sex: Elizabeth/Philip in a contained space somewhere. The Soviets against the walls in the Rezidentura.
  
• Woman on Top: Elizabeth is dominant in many ways, and this extends to the feeling of pleasure she gets from sitting astride Philip working her way to an intense orgasm. Tatiana taking all her pleasure from a more prone and submissive Oleg.

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THE GOBLIN EMPEROR - KATHERINE ADDISON

I love the worldbuilding, the loyalty kink, the playing around with language and formality and customs and blending of elves and goblins. With these relationships I'm particularly interested in all of that, as well as the burgeoning feminist movements in the Ethuveraz, secretly transgressing the office of the emperor, and the thoughts and feelings of a few more minor characters and what they think of the world under Edrehasivar VII. Maia getting taken apart by his nohecharei? Csethiro teaching Maia how to fuck? Insane fivesome of everyone's dreams to please Maia's deepest desires? Maia tentatively or not so tentatively trying to get himself off? Playing with their extravagant clothing and jewelry for all sorts of purposes?

Ships

• Cala Athmaza/Deret Beshelar/Maia Drazhar: Nohecharei are made for loyalty kink, of course. I'd love to see them taking Maia apart, getting a sort of filthy thrill off of the inappropriateness but it also involving real trust and warmth. Bonus if Maia learns later how to get them off in turn and can turn the tables back on them a bit, so to speak.
  
• Cala Athmaza/Csethiro Ceredin/Csevet Aisava/Deret Beshelar/Maia Drazhar: Csethiro/Csevet/Maia with the nohecharei watching and getting off on it? All five acting together to please Maia for the anniversary of his reign or his birthday or something?
  
• Csethiro Ceredin/Maia Drazhar: These two took time to grow on each other and on me, but I really like Csethiro's spirit, how she opens Maia, and also Maia being forthright with her. I'd love experienced!Csethiro and virgin!Maia, their first time maybe? Csethiro teaching Maia something sexually and them letting go of formality?
  
• Solo: Maia Drazhar: Awkward virgin Maia practicing by jerking off. Maia fantasizing about whomever. Maia being interrupted pleasuring himself. In general, the contrast between Maia's sense of propriety and his sexual desires, and then potentially having that blow up in his face, is hugely potent here.
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Alternate Universe - Daemon Sex: How would daemons work in the Ethuveraz? Daemon touching, watching daemons fuck, daemons jerking each other off and otherwise sexually interacting, and more all welcome.
  
• Bathing/Washing, Hair Washing: The nohecharei taking care of Maia like common edocharei. Csethiro/Maia bath sex and luxuriating in one another. Maia treating himself to a long bath and cleaning his hair and jerking off in it.
  
• Caning, Whipping: Someone has to take a punishment for Maia. Maia gets off on it, somewhat ashamedly. (The fivesome, with the other three watching?) Or more consensual caning/whipping roleplay, with Maia wanting to be punished and the nohecharei or Csethiro giving it to him. Please no Csethiro getting caned or whipped, if possible, or not just Csethiro, please.
  
• Cunnilingus: Particularly in the sense of "learning to do this," but in general Csethiro getting eaten out, by Maia or by the nohecharei in the guise of teaching Maia.
  
• Clothing Kink, Jewelry: So many extravagant descriptions already. People like to play with robes, hair styles/hair sticks, Maia's ridiculous jewelry...
  
• Dancing: The nohecharei teach Maia to dance (and grind?) before his wedding. Csethiro going around the room with all the men. Csethiro/Maia dancing and fucking in their bedchambers.
  
• Experienced/Inexperienced: Maia needs to learn to fuck. Partner(s) to teach him all sorts of things...
  
• Fantasizing: Maia getting himself off imagining his nohecharei or Csethiro or Csevet or whomever. Csethiro sharing sexual fantasies with Maia.
  
• Glove Kink: Maia or Csethiro (or both) has to wear insane gloves for some reason and they have fun with it.
  
• Laughter during Sex: Csethiro teaching Maia how to laugh despite his nerves on their wedding night. Beshelar being induced to laugh (by Cala? By Maia, and then Beshelar is horrified at himself for the ~~impropriety~?)
  
• Masturbation Interruptus: Maia is really going at it, and then the nohecharei are forced to interrupt for a crisis. Or accidentally, without realizing what he's doing, come in to ask a question. Or Csethiro walks in on him masturbating (bonus if it's somehow before they've married/had sex yet).
  
• Office Sex: Maia and partner(s) getting it on on his desk, in his study, while they're supposed to be working?
  
• Sex Pollen: As inducement for the fivesome, maybe? Getting Csethiro and Maia together before they're technically supposed to? To Maia alone, and then he has to wank it off, or gets his nohecharei to wank him off?
  
• Thigh-High Boots/Tights/Stockings: Taking them off Maia or Csethiro. Playing around with them on the nohecharei.
  
• Titles/Honorifics: I'm including formal/informal kinkery in here as well, but everyone loving Maia's many titles, and Maia loving to come up with titles for his partners and lavish them in turn.

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아가씨 | THE HANDMAIDEN (2016)

I loved this lush, sensual movie to hell and back. I loved the setting and worldbuilding, the costumes, the language games (when they spoke Korean and when Japanese), the colonial/imperial politics in the background, and all the tropes involved (crossdressing, maids and mistresses, spies/thieves, falling in love with your mark, role reversals, sensuous bathing each other, sex toys/erotica, women working together to fuck over men and free themselves, etc), amongst so many other things. I'd love pretty much anything with Sook-hee and Hideko, although keeping in tone with the movie (especially its overall triumphant ending) would be appreciated. More of them bathing each other? Exploring erotica/kinkiness without the male pressure involved? Them crossdressing again for some reason once they're free? Stolen moments before they escape, like that kiss in the doorway in the movie?

Kinks and Prompts

• Bathing/Washing, Hair Washing, In Water: I love that this is canon and would love more of it. Hideko taking care of Sook-hee for once, them rutting in a bathtub or at a beach or in a secluded pond somewhere, just loads of loving attention and steaminess and fun.
  
• Caning: They try to reclaim their kinkiness, as sort of suggested by the final sequence with the ben-wa balls, this time with punishment roleplay. Either or both being caned is fine (Hideko wanting role reversal, Sook-hee wanting to really sink into and explore the role of a servant, whatever).
  
• Cunnilingus: Anywhere and everywhere. Sook-hee desperate for the taste of Hideko, Hideko wanting to love and worship her chosen companion, while still trapped in the house while trying to avoid detection, after escape, whatever.
  
• Dancing: Playing around with who would take the male or the female role and some mild crossdressing/roleplaying? Or just having fun in each other's arms and it segueing into more.
  
• Drunk Sex: They get exuberantly lit and have some fun, either slow and sensuous or fast or kinky or however you like.
  
• Experienced/Inexperienced: Hideko teaching Sook-hee is canon, obviously, and more of that is welcome, but so is Sook-hee taking the reins and showing Hideko something (maybe Sook-hee is really good at fingering, because thief and all that, and instructs Hideko how to be better? Or whatever you like)
  
• Fingerfucking: Anywhere, everywhere, wherever, whatever.
  
• Fucked against a Window: In the house, getting a thrill off the scandal, onboard the ship maybe against the porthole (no one will likely see, but it's still arousing), inaugurating their new house abroad with some sex...
  
• Glove Kink: Sook-hee loves Hideko's gloves and hands. Or Hideko tries to dress Sook-hee up in fancier gloves and worship the cleverness of her fingers and how extra dangerous and competent they look in gloves. Fingering each other with gloves still on.
  
• Jewelry: Sook-hee trying on Hideko's jewelry and taunting her with it. Hideko loading Sook-hee up with jewelry for fun. Roleplaying Sook-hee as a thief of Hideko's jewels.
  
• Laughter during Sex: Taking exuberant joy and wonder in being free on the ship. Hiding laughter despite their fear while still in danger from the men.
  
• Oral Fixation: One loves the other's fingers and can't stop wanting to suck them. Or just always wants to eat cunt or breasts or whatnot.
  
• Thigh-High Boots/Tights/Stockings: Having fun dressing each other up in them and taking them off.
  
• Wall Sex: Inaugurating their new home. In the ship, where there's not much room. While desperate and angry in the house (maybe when Hideko lifts Sook-hee up in rage?)
  

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KINGSMAN (MOVIES)

Kingsman is a big exuberant mess of a movie, and I love the absurd spy tropes, the 80s-heavy soundtrack, and the million myriad pornish fantasies it's all inspired. Reveling in that tropey spy goodness is highly encouraged, and yet also I am hoping to see some middle-aged dudes in love somehow, be it with each other or with the bright, strong young people who have forcibly won their way into their midst. Alternately, how about Harry/Roxy friends with benefits (Roxy getting some good head from Harry?) or a desperate Harry masturbating? Bonus points throughout for bottom!Harry. My only hard request is to ask that you not write just Eggsy/Harry on its own, as there's already quite a lot of them, and I'd love to see rarer configurations!

Ships

• Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Roxy Morton | Lancelot/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin: The foursome we deserve. All sorts of permutations welcome, but ideally they're all in the same room fucking one another and giving pretty equal share, all things considered. My personal fave is established Harry/Merlin integrating the other two, but it doesn't have to be that way as long as they're all having fun and Roxy's getting as much love as the men.
  
• Solo: Harry Hart: Harry being a whining, desperate mess with his own hand. Maybe he's alone. Maybe someone's technically watching him. Regardless, it's all about him, his hand, how beautiful he is like this, and perhaps his proclivity for fingering his own ass.
  
• Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin: Ugh, my heart for these two. Badass older spies who can fuck like champions, either with vigor or lazy and in love. Precanon, during canon, with resurrected!Harry, whatever floats your boat.
  
• Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin: Eggsy and Merlin taking Harry apart while he whines desperately with need? Harry and Merlin thoroughly corrupting Eggsy? One getting off on watching the other two?
  
• Harry Hart | Galahad/Roxy Morton | Lancelot: Friends with benefits yes hello. Sometimes the others are too busy, and it's just these two getting off together—Roxy pegging Harry, Harry practicing his cunnilingus skills, whatever.
  
• Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin/Roxy Morton | Lancelot: Harry and Merlin both decide to practice their cunnilingus skills on Roxy. Roxy gets both men under her control for a night.
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Alternate Universe - Daemon Sex: How would daemons work in the world of spycraft? Are spies' daemons always unsettled to enable them to better disguise themselves? Any and all sex, consensual daemon touching, getting used to each other's daemon, etc. welcome, as is focusing on how daemons react in sex (do daemons...jerk each other off, or something?)
  
• Banter while in Bed: Merlin continually dropping sarcasm. Eggsy playing up the chav side of things while letting his mouth run. Harry being juvenile or overly pedantic or otherwise charming but obnoxious. Roxy bitingly, cuttingly taking the others down a peg, or wielding sarcasm, or trading posho bullshit with Harry.
  
• Body Swap: How do they react to being in Roxy's body? How does Roxy react to having a cock? Harry and Merlin knowing each other so well that they're not too fazed and have extra great sex. In general, exploration welcome, as is kinking up hard on the necessarily voyeuristic aspects involved in this. Preferred rationale is some sort of potion or ~~science gone wrong~ thing that's ultimately temporary, but feel free to use your imagination.
  
• Caning: One of them likes pain; another is willing to give it. Bonus points for some roleplay involving boarding school shenanigans. I'd prefer not Roxy as the recipient, please, though she's more than welcome to wield a cane on your favorite.
  
• Cock Slut: I am inordinately fond of cock slut Harry Hart, desperate for cock in his ass or his mouth, but Eggsy or Merlin can be that hard up for it too.
  
• Competence Kink: These are deadly human beings who look great in tailored suits. Of course they're going to get off on the beauty of their fellows being deadly, skilled (at fighting and/or fucking and/or negotiating), and beautiful.
  
• Cunnilingus: Roxy gets it from one, two, or all three men in turn, just loving her.
  
• Desperate Arousal/Sexual Frustration: Harry is desperate as hell, so desperate, whether with others (who love to tease) or when he's alone with only his hand for company.
  
• Dirty Talk: Merlin dropping Gaelic shit (or others kinking on his accent as he talks dirty), Eggsy throwing down particularly rough to taunt the more posh among them, Roxy putting her education to good use...
  
• Fantasizing: Desperate Harry masturbating to his favorite sexual fantasy involving the others? One can't be there, so they're imagining the others?
  
• Fingerfucking: Harry or Merlin or Eggsy getting their asses played with; Roxy getting some of those gorgeous Kingsman hands up in her.
  
• Friends With Benefits: Mostly Harry/Roxy in mind for this, but if you want to take any of the other permutations as FWB, I am very down for that as well.
  
• Kilts: Merlin looks damn good in a kilt, so it's time to appreciate that. Or perhaps Merlin likes to see his partner(s) in kilts...
  
• Masturbation Interruptus: Solo Harry being interrupted by the others and being supremely unperturbed (or very perturbed/desperate/whiny, if you prefer that aesthetic).
  
• Office Sex: Arthur's office getting used for all sorts of salacious things, from masturbation to crazy foursomes. In desk chairs, against desks, against walls...
  
• Open Relationships: Harry and Merlin having an open relationship and inviting the other two in is, like, my dream headcanon/fantasy land. I like openness in general as a kink, though.
  
• Pegging: Roxy taking Harry this way, for sex practice or because he's super needy and no one else is available. Roxy taking someone else while others watch...
  
• Sex Pollen: It's such a shame when science experiments go wrong and one of them ends up horny as hell and in need of help from others.
  
• Topping from the Bottom/Pushy Bottom: This is where I yet again make my fondness for desperate bottom Harry Hart known. Any pushiness is good, though—Harry trying to direct with Merlin and/or Eggsy's cock up his arse, Eggsy being a demanding shit with the others, Merlin taking it from Harry or Eggsy...
  

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PRIDE AND PREJUDICE - JANE AUSTEN

I love Austen's humor, the biting satire, the wittiness, the vivid pictures of interpersonal life in a world different from ours now and yet in some ways still very much the same. With these relationships I particularly enjoy playing around with social classes and gender, inasmuch as one can do in the Georgian period, as well as playing with the trappings of that world: the cravats, the boots, the large houses, the bustling families, the drama of families and wards, the repression and where it breaks, the potential for subtle rejection of the prevailing social norms. Hidden queerness nonetheless delighted in? Bingley/Darcy being more than just good friends? Lizzy pegging Darcy? Darcy/Wickham hatesex? Repressed Darcy getting himself off in an orgy of beauty and borderline shame? The hot messiness of threesomes and foursomes all getting one another off?

Ships

• Charles Bingley/Fitzwilliam Darcy: I love the idea of Georgian/Regency friends trying to hide that they've been something more at some point, or just lowkey also being fuckbuddies on the side. How did they first start fucking? Do they occasionally fuck (with permission) after they're married? All the cravat/clothing porn especially welcome.
  
• Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy: These two <3 What's their first time like? Do they make out or something ~~more before they're even married? I'd love Darcy going down on Lizzy, Lizzy riding Darcy, or Lizzy fingerfucking/pegging Darcy. Mentioning the existence of kids is okay, but please no pregnant sex or sex to conceive.
  
• Elizabeth Bennet/Charles Bingley/Fitzwilliam Darcy: Lizzy watching the two men fuck? Them taking turns trying to get her off? Lizzy whipping one while the other watches? Accidental sex pollen shenanigans that lead to awkward but delightful sex?
  
• Elizabeth Bennet/Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley/Fitzwilliam Darcy: I tend to imagine this as a weird extended family V, wherein Lizzy and Jane don't really directly fuck each other, but they fuck the two men, and the two men fuck each other, or otherwise permutations of three, but sibling incest is of course fine. Any sort of voyeuristic set-up would be especially good, the women watching the men together, one sister directing the men on how best to pleasure the other sister, them all dealing with the effects of sex pollen, and so on and so forth.
  
• Elizabeth Bennet/Colonel Fitzwilliam/Fitzwilliam Darcy: Both men love her, so there's lots of doting on her sexually. Or Lizzy and Colonel Fitz having fun snarking together while Darcy is repressed (them lovingly mocking him?). Lizzy kinking on the technically incest aspects of it. Whatever first name you want to use for Colonel Fitz is good (I don't think he has one in canon?).
  
• Fitzwilliam Darcy/George Wickham: Resentful/hatesex ahoy! Before things go sour, or after, either is fine. Grumping and bitching and somewhat rough sex welcome, as is drunken, slightly confused sex, or even tender sex that goes sour in retrospect (if set before Darcy Senior's death). Comforting each other after Darcy Senior's death? Fucking out frustrations during canon timeline?
  
• Solo: Fitzwilliam Darcy: Darcy is hard as hell for Miss Elizabeth Bennet despite the lowness of her connections and finally cannot take it anymore. Darcy can't bear how much he wants Bingley in him despite the impropriety. Darcy can't stand Wickham's fucking swagger and imagines shutting his mouth the hell up. Darcy desperately wants a random cock up his arse and uses his fingers to explore. Darcy is, in essence, Desperate.
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Banter while in Bed: Lizzy and Colonel Fitz are probably the most likely candidates to talk smack/try to make wit while fucking, but I'd also love to see Darcy trying it, or even Jane, and all sorts of Austenian language/word/snark games while fucking.
  
• Bathing/Washing, Hair Washing: You get the idea (sex and water! sex next to water! sex while playing with wet hair!), but perving on people with water is a staple of (some versions of) canon, and I love it. Lizzy watching Darcy bathe? Lizzy and Jane bathing each other and their men? Darcy fitfully jerking off while in the bath? Darcy and Fitz/Bingley luxuriating in each other and/or Lizzy's hair in the water?
  
• Body Swap: How on earth would Darcy deal with being in a female body, or another man's whom he secretly loves? What would Lizzy and Jane think of their temporary cocks? All the voyeurism and identity porn and "exploring this foreign body wtf is a breast and/or dick" welcome, especially interacting with Regency repression and the slow loss thereof.
  
• Clothing Kink: So many articles of clothing to perv over and remove! So many cravats to use as light bondage, if you so like. So many men in gorgeous fuck-me boots and jackets.
  
• Cunnilingus: Darcy going at it on Lizzy, Bingley going at it on Jane, them switching wives and eating them out, the sisters eating each other out while the men watch, you name it.
  
• Dancing: Formal dancing will get the adrenaline pumping. So will Bingley/Darcy or Colonel Fitz/Darcy or Darcy/Wickham practicing dancing (they had to learn somehow!)
  
• Desperate Arousal/Sexual Frustration: Darcy's constant state of existence while pining over Lizzy, or faced with the beauty of Bingley or the sauciness of Wickham or the constant companionship of Colonel Fitz. He masturbates to relieve it, of course, or gets it fucked out of him by another.
  
• Dream Sex, Fantasizing: No premarital sex in this period, clearly, never, but imagining is cool—Darcy over someone else, Lizzy over Darcy (to her shame or disgust or joy), etc.
  
• Flogging, Whipping: I'm particularly into the idea of Darcy being flogged/whipped, either as a teen for real punishment (which Wickham watches and gets off on?) or as a roleplayesque thing with partners of choice. Wickham or Bingley also under the lash is more than fine too.
  
• Glove Kink: The sheer arousal when gloves finally come off and they actually touch skin to skin. Fucking with gloves still on. Darcy's beautiful hands in gloves—or unable to keep his eyes off Wickham/Bingley/Fitz in gloves. Lizzy bewitching men with gloves.
  
• Masturbation Interruptus: Darcy getting himself off frantically when oops, the Misses Bennet walk in on him (bonus points for before their marriage). Or some guy comes in and they proceed to wank each other off and be moderately awkward about it.
  
• Pegging: Darcy being pegged by Lizzy. Lizzy watching Darcy at the end of her fake cock, begging for it. Lizzy watching Jane fuck into Darcy.
  
• Sex Pollen: Awkward, semi-repressed and fully repressed Regency women and men being compelled to fuck and loving it and also feeling slight shame.
  
• Thigh-High Boots/Tights/Stockings: All the dressing/undressing porn welcome here, especially of Darcy being unable to look away from another man's boots. More general foot kink-ish stuff also welcome.
  
• Vaginal Fingering: Hands at work pleasing women. Can be combined with various states of still-dressed for an extra punch, if you like.
  
• Woman on Top: Lizzy riding the shit out of Darcy (or Bingley or Colonel Fitz, tbh, if in a threesome/foursome).
  

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SHERLOCK (TV)

This fandom could probably be subtitled "Mycroft Holmes loses control and is simultaneously mildly ashamed and super enjoying it," tbh. Him luxuriously or desperately wanking himself off, he and Sherlock being their claustrophobic "elegant emotionally crippled geniuses against the rest of the world" selves, he and John (two guys who like to think themselves dutiful soldiers in their very different senses of the word) falling together bonding over Sherlock being an ass (or to spite Sherlock, or barely related to Sherlock at all if you like), John/Mycroft/Sherlock fuckery (made to fuck by Eurus or sex pollen, or more natural), he and some powerful woman (spy shenanigans with Mary? office shenanigans with Lady Smallwood?). Really, the whole elegant repressed "I'm totally in control" bastard aesthetic, being played around with/ripped to shreds/etc. (Please note that while I have obviously no problem pairing Mycroft with women, I do have an issue reading him as entirely straight, so any bonus background bisexuality in an m/f Mycroft situation would be Extremely Good Content for me.)

Ships

• Mycroft Holmes/John Watson: I love them as the apparently staid other halves of Sherlock, Sherlock's past and his future interacting around him and also taking comfort in each other (or doing each other to piss him off). I love John using his military background on Mycroft, them playing some sort of demented type of soldiers, John delighting in seeing the great Mycroft Holmes reduced to being a needy mess, Mycroft making it up to John and letting John verbally eviscerate him a la TFP, etc.
  
• Mycroft Holmes/Lady Smallwood: She knows what she wants and she goes after it, and what she wants is Mycroft Holmes's dick/mouth/hands/arse/suits, in some luxurious posh London flat or in a Whitehall/Diogenes Club office. I prefer her in control of the situation and taking him apart, and it to be pretty casual/not so much romantic, but there's quite a lot of leeway there. And re: her first name, I'm good with either Elizabeth or Alicia.
  
• Mycroft Holmes/Mary Morstan: I would have loved more of them, drenched in spy/assassin overtones. Mary interacting with Mycroft precanon? Mary fucking around with Mycroft to try to subdue him after she shoots Sherlock, or to get blackmail over him like Magnussen has over her? Prickly intelligence, political smarts, and viciousness all especially welcome as aesthetics here, be they antagonistic or somewhat more friendly, as well as playing up moral ambiguity and so on.
  
• Mycroft Holmes/Sherlock Holmes: Genius assholes against the rest of the world. Sherlock coming onto Mycroft and him feeling guilty, them being ferociously codependent with one another in a fucked-up way precanon, them working out Eurus feelings after season 4, them fucking before season 4 and Mycroft keeps thinking of Eurus too, Eurus making them play fuck or die, them caught in sex pollen, however you like. I like playing up the filthiness of incest, but I also generally want it as consensual as incest can realistically be and with Sherlock at least 16, please.
  
• Mycroft Holmes/Sherlock Holmes/John Watson: Eurus making the three of them fuck or die, them coalescing together around Sherlock's neediness, Mycroft wanting to take them both at once, the general id/ego/superego, past/present/future-esque triangle they have going on. Mycroft making it up to John and Sherlock after TFP, or trying to?
  
• Solo: Mycroft Holmes: Mycroft decadently or frantically wanking, in his house, in his office, in a car, in 221B while Sherlock and John appear to be/are out, while watching noir pornos or more mainstream pornos, to take care of himself after getting sex pollened, for a partner while they watch and force him to get himself off, while fantasizing about being interrogated or doing an interrogation...
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Arguing during Sex: More seriously or just bickering—Holmes bros bickering, bitching about politics with Lady Smallwood, complaining about Sherlock with John or Mary, to whatever degree of seriousness you'd like.
  
• Caning: Mycroft loves to be treated like the public school toff he is/is surrounded by and kind of loves the pain and potential humiliation involved. You can also have him wielding a cane on John or Sherlock, but I'd prefer no Mary or Lady Smallwood on the receiving end.
  
• Clothing Kink: So well dressed all the time. Playing with waistcoats, nice shirts, suits, gorgeous arses in suits, undressing each other, Mycroft getting off imagining Mary's or Lady Smallwood's skirts/dresses/shoes, whatever.
  
• Cock Slut: Whitehall's best-kept secret (or "secret") is that Mycroft Holmes loves cock—real or plastic, in his mouth or his arse, however. He doesn't consider it demeaning, just delightful release and fun and a way of clearing and restarting his brain.
  
• Cunnilingus: Mycroft is, of course,good at anything he puts his mind to, including giving head to Mary or Lady Smallwood while they hold his head against them and use his mouth.
  
• Desperate Arousal/Sexual Frustration: Mycroft is indeed aroused, against his will or not, and needs release, via his hand, another partner, whomever. The partner taunting him/mildly verbally humiliating him for his needs, but ultimately giving him what he needs, is an extra bonus.
  
• Dirty Talk: I'm ... fond of Mycroft's voice being used for sexual purposes. Mycroft also being sensitive to/aroused by John pulling military jargon on him or being called a slut by a partner (especially one of the women) is very good as well.
  
• Fantasizing, Porn Watching: Mycroft and his hand have some fun, grudgingly or openly, imagining all his filthiest fantasies come true. Or him watching more dodgy noir porn in his spare time, or more mainstream porn, by himself or while being directed by a partner.
  
• Friends with Benefits: Obviously Mycroft is too cool for real relationships in his own estimation, so more casual sex it is, using John or Mary or Lady Smallwood to amicably get off.
  
• Fuck or Die, Sex Pollen: The big scenario I have in mind here is Eurus forcing John, Mycroft, and Sherlock to all fuck one another in TFP and them being like "wow this is terrible...it's so terrible...why am I so aroused by this terrible thing..." Feel free to go to town on the incest angle. Or Mycroft/Sherlock guilty fucking under the influence of sex pollen. Or, alternately, Mycroft trapped with one of the women and them having to make the best of it. In general, I'm all about the mild guilt/awkwardness, but I like the participants to enjoy it overall, even if they're somewhat scaroused by that enjoyment.
  
• Glove Kink: Mycroft's gloves are beautiful, and his partners agree, especially when he leaves them on during sex. And/or Mycroft gets super hard for Mary's assassin gloves or Lady Smallwood's hands in gloves or similar.
  
• Interrogation: Mycroft is interrogating Mary, precanon maybe in relation to her activities, or after she shoots Sherlock, and things get steamy. Lady Smallwood takes her interrogation from Mycroft with dignity and forces him to pay her back for it later with an interrogation of her own. I'm especially fond of Mycroft starting out in control and having the tables flipped on him, gradually or suddenly, and being at his interrogation victim's mercy, but Mycroft being straight-up viciously interrogated by Lady Smallwood for the Sherrinford shitshow would also be excellent.
  
• Masturbation Interruptus: Sherlock walking in on his brother in flagrante delicto. The clown shitshow in TFP (or something else) interrupting Mycroft with his hands down his pants watching the noir film. Lady Smallwood walking in on Mycroft mid-session in his office and taking control from there.
  
• Neediness to Please, Oral Fixation: I see these mostly going together in terms of Mycroft really, really wanting to be a good boy for his chosen partner and get their cock/cunt/finger in his mouth constantly because he needs it, he just really, really needs something to do with his mouth, he loves how things taste, etc. Mycroft being needy as fuck in general is Good Content.
  
• Pegging: Mycroft loves Mary's or Lady Smallwood's cock in his arse, really loves it, and uses it as stress relief.
  
• Praise Kink: Mycroft does love being told he's doing an okay job, especially after a shitshow event like Sherrinford or some other cock-up at work.
  
• Woman on Top: Mary and/or Lady Smallwood rides Mycroft for all he's worth.
  

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A SINGLE MAN (2009)

I love George and Jim so damn much—the easy but heady love they share, their glimpses of domesticity despite the very institutionally homophobic setting, the way Jim lovingly calls George "old man." I'd love anything relatively happy that explores their relationship—hinting at the angst to come is okay, but I do want to smile through any pangs. Skinny-dipping? Decadent sex? Risque sex on the beach or over the phone or against a window? Exploring daemons in their time period? Kinking on the age difference and some possible role reversals with that? The sky's the limit! Bonus points for working in whatever past of Jim you might like (what is his day to day life like?), since he's fairly thinly characterized in the film.

Kinks and Prompts

• Alternate Universe - Daemon Sex: I'd love to see the daemon interactions of confident, loving, but closeted gay men in an institutionally and socially homophobic time, as well as just their sex: consensual daemon touching, getting used to each other's daemon, focusing on how daemons react in sex (do daemons...jerk each other off, or something?), whatever.
  
• Bathing/Washing, In Water, Shower Sex: I love the movie's water aesthetics, be it George's sorrow in their shower in the morning or the beach shenanigans with Kenny. Skinnydipping that turns into more? Lazy shower or bath that gets sexual?
  
• Bodyswap: What does George think of Jim's younger body? How amused is Jim by George's aging body? Them knowing each other well enough to really get each other off is great, as is the inherent voyeurism and exploration that's involved in the trope. (Them watching each other masturbate...their own body, I guess it would be?..is amazing.)
  
• Dancing: Them waltzing and sharing fun together, turning sexual—to break in their new house? When they first meet, right when coming back from the Starboard Side? Maybe inspired by this beautiful dancing art somehow?
  
• Desperate Arousal/Sexual Frustration: George being desperate to get his mouth around Jim's dick, or Jim's mouth on his ass, or Jim's dick in his ass?
  
• Drunk Sex: Post-Starboard Side? To break in their new house? After an argument of some kind, and it's intense but also kind of soppy and sweet?
  
• Experienced/Inexperienced: Jim teaches George some new technique that's all the rage among the younger community?
  
• Frottage, Intercrural: Slow, fast, luxurious, hurried, in their own house, while being remarkably incautious somewhere else, however you like your nonpenetrative sex. I love Colin Firth's thighs, so him being the recipient of intercrural would be extra excellent.
  
• Fucked against a Window: Them being a bit dangerous by putting the whole "glass house" thing to a rather literal test. Either can be bottoming, but Jim taking control (and George being scared, slightly peevish, but also extremely aroused and enjoying it) would be great.
  
• Glove Kink, Hand & Finger Kink: They have some fun on a mildly cool California winter morning, or try on fancy costume gloves, or just general enjoyment of hands and fingers all over the body/in your mouth or ass/etc.
  
• Lap Sex: George in Jim's lap, desperate and loving it. Jim sitting in his old man's lap, having some fun. In their own house, somewhere more dangerous/scandalous, wherever.
  
• Laughter during Sex: Jim making George laugh despite himself. George attempting to crack awkward but loving jokes and it making Jim so very happy.
  
• Oral Sex: George loving Jim's cock in his mouth is a huge bonus here for me, but him also being awed by how excellent Jim's mouth is is great.
  
• Phone Sex: Like some happy echo of that terrible phone call in the movie. Risque of sorts at the time, but all the more arousing for that, and it makes the canon phone call that much sadder by comparison.
  
• Reunion Sex: Jim comes back from some posting somewhere with the navy, or some better-fated trip to Colorado precanon. George has to travel for a conference or something, or goes back to visit Britain alone, and then returns to his heart.
  

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TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY - ALL MEDIA TYPES

I love to have the canon's low-key melancholy air as a background for sex romps, be it the Greek tragedy of Bill/Jim, Bill and Jim playing with a third, the Holmes/Watson-esque affair of George/Peter, Bill/Peter office shenanigans, Bill/George hatesex, or more. Go wild: betrayal, infidelity, cuckolding, love despite better sense, desperate loyalty in order to keep one's sanity in a murky amoral world, quick sex, sex when you know better, borderline or outright kink, exploring daemons and spycraft (and sex), and more. Book and/or movie canon welcome as you see fit for it, and feel free to draw on the extended Karla Trilogy if you know it.

Ships

• Bill Haydon/Jim Prideaux: Almost literally anything, but I'd especially love earlier days, thick as thieves together working some case and fucking on the side, Oxford fucking, who knows. I'm especially fond of seeing the potential ways in which Bill loves Jim (despite himself), even later when Bill is a committed mole. I also like the idea of Bill being peculiarly undone by Jim despite all the other people he's had, so showing Bill's weakness for Jim even with others on his skin is intoxicating to me.
  
• Bill Haydon/Jim Prideaux/Original Male Character: Hi, so, yeah, any permutation of Bill/Jim/another is good, but the idea of them roleplaying a cuckold situation (or just Jim in general getting off on watching Bill seducing and being with another, especially if Bill's getting fucked hard by that other), when there's (unspoken?) IRL infidelity present, makes me extremely happy. Feel free to play up the irony.
  
• Bill Haydon/Jim Prideaux/Peter Guillam: In case you really want that specific third to be Peter, here it is. But for this the cuckolding roleplay-esque stuff can also take a second seat to just Bill schooling Peter for his sauciness while Jim watches, or Bill getting the fuck off on watching Jim and Peter (these two beautiful men) fucking for him, etc.
  
• Peter Guillam/Bill Haydon: Peter's admiration for Bill in the precanon years has to have exploded in some office sex, yes? With Bill internally angsting over Jim, if it's post-Testify, or just something more easygoing? How does Peter see himself in relation to Bill's many other conquests?
  
• Peter Guillam/George Smiley: In some ways a version of Holmes and Watson, but also with differences in age and temperament I'd love to see explored in sex. Do they fuck in a safe house somewhere? Does George gently take a desperate and off-the-rails Peter apart in order to calm him down? Peter having to sexually calm George down in a rare explosive moment from George would also be amazing.
  
• Bill Haydon/George Smiley: The cuckold porn is here for the taking, and I love it. Were Bill and George ever actually close? Do they feel a weird bond/hate-affinity in being lovers of the same woman? Does Bill have a subsumed admiration for George, even later, that he can't hide? Hatesex, known infidelity, cuckolding...kinking on fucking each other, knowing full well the cuckolding going on even if it's never directly referenced, is A++.
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Alternate Universe - Daemons: Daemons and spies, it's everywhere in my requests, I know. Daemon touching, daemons watching humans fuck, how daemons behave in cuckold stuff, and so on.
  
• Antagonism Leads to Sex, Arguing during Sex: Bill and George arguing and hatefucking, Bill running his mouth off at a partner, Bill and Peter arguing while fucking, Bill and Jim having an argument that spills over into sexual release...
  
• BDSM: I'm really fond of sub!Bill as a concept, especially him being a mouthy, somewhat disobedient sub to earn extra punishment. In general I love bondage in particular and some mild to moderate spanking/caning/whipping and the like, nothing too formalized or hardcore if possible. (Weirdly casual/instinctive/borderline undernegotiated BDSM is a particular fave of mine, so long as everyone knows the score and limits are still respected.) Bill paying penance to Jim for another infidelity by submitting? Bill domming the fuck out of Peter or George? George angrily domming Bill or reluctantly but lovingly domming Peter?
  
• Cock Slut: Okay, I have a completely self-indulgent aesthetic NEED for Cock Slut Bill Haydon, him being desperate for cock, any cock, maybe particularly Jim's cock, but really, just cock. But I'm also game for Peter being thirsty for Bill or George's cock, Jim wanting Bill's, and so on.
  
• Competence Kink: They're spies—not flashy ones, but still. Bill's skills at playing other people get someone hot and hard. Jim's fighting skills drive Bill crazy. Peter can't get enough of George besting Bill.
  
• Cuckolding: Bill and Jim ironically roleplaying it. Jim knowing he's not the only one but fucking loving it anyway. George getting off on Bill taking Ann from him.
  
• Dirty Talk: Bill putting his suave skills to work, or getting off on someone else mildly verbally humiliating him (Jim trashing him for his faithlessness?). George giving Peter a thorough, mildly halting, somewhat surprisingly excellent dirty talk workover.
  
• Drunk Sex, Sex Pollen: It helps lubricate some of the more awkward pairs? It forces Bill and George to have awkward sex despite themselves? However you like.
  
• Exhibitionism, Voyeurism: Jim watching and getting off on Bill with another. Bill hard as hell to see Jim with another like how he himself is always straying. George watching/imagining Bill fuck Ann.
  
• Frottage: Desperate fast frotting at Oxford, in the Circus, in the field somewhere to avoid detection. Slow and loving frotting to maximize skin contact.
  
• Hate Sex: Bill/George is foremost here, but maybe Bill and Jim have hate sex while temporarily on the outs, or Bill and Peter fall together that way.
  
• Infidelity: Jim Knows. Jim mostly does not care. Bill loves Jim despite everything and vice versa. George wants Bill despite or because of the infidelity/cuckolding. Peter feels guilty about fucking Bill when he knows Bill has Jim, but they do anyway.
  
• Office Sex: Bill/Peter office sex because they're bored and needy and have each other around and Peter Admires Bill. George/Peter taking the tension off. Bill/George hatesex over something behind Control's back. Bill/Jim unable to contain themselves.
  
• Sex in a Car: George/Peter or Bill/Peter using the Citroen for saucy purposes. Bill and Jim out in the field precanon getting it on in some dodgy car while waiting. Etc.
  
• Spitroasting: Bill between Jim and someone else. Peter between Bill and Jim as they make eyes over him. Jim between Bill and someone else.
  
• Topping from the Bottom/Pushy Bottoms: Bill and Peter in particular, being whiny or desperate or fake lazy (particularly Bill) but also trying to control the show. Their partner(s) can be indulgent or not, as you like.
  

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