Smut Swap 2018

[minebyrights]

It's time to get smutty! Whoever you are and whatever ships and/or kinks brought you here, I hope you find this fun, rewarding, and low on stress.

The following skirts the lines of TL;DR, but I want to emphasize that I am genuinely in love with all of these relationships and kinks, as well as desperate for fic for them, so anything you produce that doesn't hit my squicks will be A++. This is mostly me throwing ideas at the walls and seeing what sticks; if you have something roiling around in your brain you really want to write for these ships/kinks, go for it! Sections and particular kinks might have more or less detail, depending, but that's mostly arbitrary and shouldn't be taken as "I like this thing more than another."

Blatant PWP or something with a little more set-up are both fine, however it shakes out for you. I specifically requested just fic for all for matching purposes, but if for whatever reason you read this and want to draw, I will gladly take and love your art as a treat as well.

If you want to find me in the wild, I'm:
theoldgods
theoldgods
minebyrights
minebyrights

And with that, on to the letter itself!

Likes and Dislikes | The Americans (TV 2013) | Black Sails | Harlots (TV) | Les liaisons dangereuses | Dangerous Liaisons - Choderlos de Laclos | Phantom Thread (2017) | Rome (TV 2005) | Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

LIKES AND DISLIKES

General Likes: worldbuilding, Holmes/Watson dynamics, bickering and bantering like old marrieds, clothing descriptions (especially period clothing, suits, kilts, tall boots), hands and feet, bathing and cleaning one another, adrenaline junkies and partners in crime, found families, snow/winter/autumn settings, 5+1s/vignettes with some thematic growth/resonance, daemons, codependency (especially with regard to sibling incest ships)

Kinks That Are Always Welcome, Requested or Not: undercover work and casefic, bedsharing, huddling for warmth, fake relationships/fake married, clothed sex, frottage/intercrural/nonpenetrative sex, dubcon (sex pollen etc.), drunk sex, light/casual BDSM (especially with subby men), topping from the bottom/pushy bottoms, oral sex, dirty talk, threesomes and moresomes, open relationships, masturbation, outdoor sex, sex in cars/in water/on the beach/on tables/against walls/on the floor/on couches/etc., voyeurism/exhibitionism, voice kink, talking to orgasm

Please no: first or second person POV, pregnancy/childfic, deathfic, angst without some light at the end of the tunnel, horror/gore/vore, character bashing, AUs (except canon divergence, future fic, and daemon AUs), tentacles, body horror/extreme body modification, omegaverse, rape/noncon as a focus of the fic (mentions of past are fine), scat/watersports, the sexual humiliation of women at the hands of men (even for kink) (though in femslash it’s more than welcome!)

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THE AMERICANS (TV 2013)

I love The Americans for so many reasons: the period piece setting, their flawless use of 70s and 80s music, the subtle pisstakes they do of Reagan, the gray morality/use of antiheroes, the deliberate blurring of lines and parallels between Americans and Soviets (both legal and illegal) and their relationships with their governments, the action, the black humor, the absurd wigs and costuming. With these two set-ups, I'm all about exploring those levels of gray, the life of spies, the adrenaline thrills they get, Elizabeth exploring women, the blurring of selves over time as American and Soviet worlds collide and absorb one another, etc. It’s totally fine to mention/explore Elizabeth’s canonical rape, though I’d prefer no detailed descriptions of the act itself.

Ships

• Elizabeth/Philip: I love the way they play with gendered expectations, the contrast of idealism and practicality, the arranged marriage set up, the vicious adrenaline that their lives are drenched in, the "us against the world" feeling that waxes and wanes, the constant negotiation involved in their lives. All the classic spy tropes are welcome, and several others besides; the main thing I ask is that you keep some sense of the danger and complexity that stalk their every waking moments, even if only in deep background.
  
• Elizabeth/Original Female Character: Did Elizabeth have any other women she was close to during her childhood? How about during KGB training? (Did her rape affect her ability to relate to men in any way that made her explore women instead?) Has she had female marks she’s been expected to use explicitly sexually/romantically while in the US? I’d love to see Elizabeth relating to other women sexually/romantically in and out of her various spy personas, whether or not she ever considers herself anything but straight or even considers sexuality in anything but instrumental/pragmatic terms.

Kinks and Prompts

• Angry Sex, Arguing during Sex: There’s so much that’s repressed and squashed about Elizabeth and Philip, and I’d love to see them working it out with some bitter but hot sex, be it about a mission, about the ever-present question of assimilation, about their kids, whatever.
  
• Arousal from Killing: I mostly imagine this being Elizabeth hopped up on some twisted bloodlust after having dispatched someone, and taking Philip and/or some woman while she’s on a mission.
  
• Clothed Sex: No room or time to undress, so they do it still clothed--maybe Elizabeth in a bar with a mark?
  
• Competence Kink: Someone gets seriously aroused watching the other at work, be it gun handling, beating the shit out of someone, being a damn good fuck during a honey pot, perfectly executing some Machiavellian stroke…Or maybe Elizabeth wins over a female mark this way?
  
• Cunnilingus: Philip eating Elizabeth, Elizabeth practicing her skills on a mark (and accepting the returned favor?)...Slow and worshipful or fast and dirty, either way.
  
• Danger/Adrenaline Kink, Thank God We’re Alive Sex: E+P get off while on a tense stand, or after returning hopped up from a narrow escape, or Elizabeth using the adrenaline of training or a mission to get off with a woman...
  
• Drunk Sex: "I can't stand you unless we're drunk" early Elizabeth/Philip, Elizabeth getting pleasurably or unpleasurably drunk and then very handsy with another woman...
  
• Fake/Pretend Relationship: Situations when E+P had to pretend to be some OTHER married couple, and how it plays into their IRL fake relationship? Elizabeth and a female companion or mark having to fake it in a gay bar?
  
• Fighting as Foreplay, Sparring Leads to Sex: Elizabeth and another woman in training are hopped up after sparring with each other and put that energy to good use. E+P either practice fighting or for real fighting with each other about something leads to something hot and heavy and violent and bitter.
  
• First Time with a Woman: God, I want to see Elizabeth fumbling through handling a female mark in training somehow and how she processes it.
  
• Honeypot Mission: Elizabeth honeypotting a woman, either to blackmail her for her homosexuality or for something less bitterly homophobic.
  
• Language Kink: E+P are not supposed to speak Russian in the US. They're not. They know they're not. But sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's going to happen anyway.
  
• Reunion Sex: Elizabeth and Philip are separated for a mission and when they're back together, all the frantic/desperate/maybe even somewhat slow and romantic sex happens.
  
• Sex in a Car: It's canon! But surely it's happened more than once, out on the hunt, Elizabeth and Philip desperate for one another or just to forget some shit they've seen. Elizabeth and a woman having nowhere else to fuck. Cheesy 80s sex music optional but welcome.
  
• Wall Sex: Elizabeth/Philip in a contained space somewhere. Elizabeth fucking a mark against a wall in a bar bathroom or something vaguely skeevy.
  
• Woman on Top: Elizabeth is dominant in many ways, and this extends to the feeling of pleasure she gets from sitting astride Philip working her way to an intense orgasm. Or maybe her submitting briefly to another woman (with the woman astride her) and not quite knowing how it makes her feel.

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BLACK SAILS

I got into canon because it was Caribbean ocean porn and pirates and period clothing and canon gay, and it was such a glorious, rollicking ride, sexy and deeply thoughtful and emotional and full of politicking and filthy women and attempts at creating a better life than what the British Empire leaves for so many of them. I love the duplicity of almost everyone involved, the gruesomeness of their behavior at times, the swagger and posturing required and yet also the deep bonds that develop among people who rely so intensely on others for their own survival in such a precarious world. I’d love smut using the trappings of the time period in various ways.

Ships

• Anne/Jack: I love Anne and Jack’s longstanding reliance on each other, how well they know each other and how well Jack is able to give Anne the space to be herself, while offering some measure of nonpatronizing extra protection in a very sexist world. I’d love precanon Anne/Jack, maybe with them cooling down after some sort of action on the seas, or blowing off steam, or postcanon with them maneuvering their new-old life and pretenses at legitimacy on land.
  
• Anne/Jack/Max: This entire threesome web ended up being possibly the most surprisingly good relationship for me over the course of canon, anchoring so much of the show. I love the three of them being open to explore where things will go, all remarkably tolerant of each other’s proclivities and the differing levels of affection amongst the three of them. (I’m also very much interested in exploring the Jack&/Max leg, especially after Anne’s injuries in season 4 and then postcanon.) Anne and Max attempting to take Jack apart together, or Anne between the two she loves the most, or them attempting to operate Nassau postcanon, or Max going out to sea with either Anne or both of them, or pegging, or luxurious bath sex, or…
  
• Anne/Max: I adore Anne and Max, the bitter circumstances that bring them together, drive them apart, and allow them to come back to one another again (I cried at the scene of them reconciling on the bench in the snow). I’d love Anne fighting and attempting to save Max in some way a la season 1, only this time with more emotion involved, or Max attempting to give Anne some sort of comfort that Anne can only take fiercely in return.
  
• Blackbeard/Vane: Teach’s devotion to Vane, despite all of Vane’s moves against him, really startled me at first and felt incredibly deep, far more so than the basic “like a son” explanation given. How were they together, precanon, tearing up the seas? (Captain/scut boy behavior and the like welcome, showing Teach’s command over Vane but also Vane’s loyalty at the time and Teach’s own devotion to his protegee.) What if part of gaining control back with Anne and Jack, however fleetingly, and falling in with Vane and Flint again required Teach to again have sex with Vane, this time with Teach attempting to please/placate/charm him back, however disarming such behavior is coming from Teach?
  
• Flint/Miranda/Thomas: I loved the Hamilton threesome, Flint charming both ends of the spectrum, grounded by Miranda’s pragmatism and spurred into delirious contentment with Thomas. More of them in London would be wonderful, raising polite hell amongst polite society and truly enjoying themselves and their intellectual hopes and dreams, with some kink on the side.
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus: Pretty much self-explanatory, but I’d especially love Jack eating out Anne (or even Max), Teach blowing Vane (to Vane’s surprise and disarmament), Flint eating out Miranda while Thomas watches...
  
• Caning, Whipping: Again, self-explanatory overall, but I’d love Anne or Max (or both) whipping Jack, someone whipping Flint (and he takes it nobly like the sailor he is/was), Teach taking a beating for Vane in some way (almost like his keelhauling sacrifice for the Ranger crew later).
  
• Competence Kink: Flint being dangerously good at something and Miranda/Thomas loving it, Anne’s prowess at fighting turning Jack and/or Max on, mutual competence porn for Teach/Vane, Max’s handling of accounts or some trouble that crops up on Nassau being irresistable for Anne and/or Jack.
  
• Danger/Adrenaline Kink: A close call on the seas being an aphrodisiac. Something bizarre turning up in London society that pushes the Hamilton threesome into temporary danger (risk of exposure?) and them working out the stress afterward.
  
• Erotic Bathing/Washing: There’s a ton of this in canon for Anne/Max in particular and more of that is always welcome; I’d especially love Anne attempting to gentle herself to take care of Max after something, or Jack and/or Max taking care of Anne after her season 4 injuries. Or the Hamiltons having fun after a night out on the town, or grungy Teach/Vane getting themselves clean after a long stint at sea.
  
• Fighting as Foreplay: A verbal argument among the Hamiltons turns into sex. Teach/Vane get it on in some sort of borderline hate sex after their confrontation, or just your average sparring and scrabbling aboard a ship precanon.
  
• Hair Kink: I love Max’s hair and would love any sort of playing with it, and I’m also super fond of Flint’s hair and would love it being tied up with ribbon in a queue/bun, being washed by Miranda or Thomas, being powdered for some reason for an outing...
  
• Intercrural Sex: I’d love Thomas taking Flint’s thighs, or Anne pegging Jack’s thighs, or any sort of Teach/Vane intercrural/thigh admiration
  
• Mentor/Protege: Mostly Teach/Vane I’m thinking of here. Anything of them precanon, with Vane at Teach’s knee learning and satisfying his mentor, or Teach turning the tables and satisfying Vane (and if that blows Vane’s mind, all the better). Or bitterness/bittersweetness after their initial break and Teach’s disappearance/vanishing….
  
• Pegging: Anne pegging Jack is a huge, huge yes, as is Miranda pegging Flint and/or Thomas, but I’m also very interested in Max pegging Jack while Anne watches.
  
• Pushy Bottom: Jack and Flint are my favorite needy bottoms, but I’m also into the idea of Vane trying to push his way into bottoming for Teach and not being prepared for just how powerful and meaningful Teach(‘s dick) is
  
• Restraints: Flint bound in the Hamiltons’ bed, Jack bound for Anne to take her pleasure out on him, Anne bound for Max’s attentions (while Jack watches?).
  
• Ritual Public Sex: So, this is my weird headcanon idea for Teach/Vane, mostly, in that in order to fall in with the gang again after years apart, instead of a swordfight it’s some sort of fuck melange/ritual fucking on the beach, wherein Teach is attempting to prove himself worthy of Vane by fucking him/attempting to please him while the various pirate crews watch. You could also do this with Jack and Anne agreeing to fuck to release Max in season 1 (taking her place as the sex entertainment for the evening), though...
  
• Sex for Warmth: Anne/Jack/Max are freezing up north and fuck against the snow to try to keep warm. (The shots of Anne/Max making up in the snow are particularly beautiful to me and I’d love them having sex for warmth afterward.) Or it gets cold in London and the Hamilton crew has sex in a big bed refusing to go out into the cold, or someone onboard some ship is sopping wet after going overboard and must be stripped and fucked to hold off hypothermia….
  
• Sex Pollen: Pretty much anyone on anyone, tbh, either everyone under the influence or only one person. I’m especially interested in sex pollen’d Flint and Anne with their respective partner(s)...
  
• Voyeur Gives Directions, Voyeurism: Max directing Anne and Jack together, Miranda directing Flint and Thomas, Thomas directing Miranda and Flint, with the voyeur getting off on it as much as those who are actually fucking
  
• Woman on Top: Anne riding Jack a la canon, Miranda riding either other man.
  

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HARLOTS (TV)

I absolutely love the setting, the trappings of the clothing and stockings and ribbon garters and jewelry and makeup and wigs. I love the focus on women and their relationships, the foolish and not so foolish games they must play with each other and with the men who are their clients and would-be rulers, the endless politicking all wrapped in sex. And while I love Margaret and her attempts at more ethical prostitution and solidarity with other sex workers, I also love Lydia as a wonderfully characterized antagonist/villain, her utter shamelessness as the series goes on, her competence at being as terrible as she must to keep and improve her social position, the rarefied society she runs in and the viciousness it induces in her (and vice versa). I’m most looking forward to season 2 for her messy, fucked-up pseudo-mother-daughter entanglement with the Wells clan, and I’d absolutely love some hate sex/dubcon/bizarre mentor-protegee and more with Charlotte and Margaret. Dubcon is almost inevitable here, and you’re welcome to push it pretty far, but I’d prefer Margaret and/or Charlotte be at least 14 or 15 or so and that there be no out and out forceful rape.

Ships

• Charlotte/Lydia: GodDAMN, but fuck me if Charlotte’s simultaneous working with/working against Lydia in season 2 isn’t going to be a treat to watch. Lydia begging Charlotte to work for her, her weird motherly affection for Charlotte that seems to threaten to overrun her business sense/her usual modes of practice, was fascinating to watch, and while I’d love to see Charlotte ultimately succeed in bringing the House of Quigley down from the inside, I’d also love to see her struggling for a while with Lydia’s seductive, corrupting pull down into the darkest aspects of prostitution, as Lydia attempts to mold Charlotte into that perfect daughter who can’t be fooled by a whore, especially now that Charles has fled.
  
• Lydia/Margaret: Okay, the obvious thing here is mother kink, which I have both a fondness and a squick for in slightly bizarre ways. I absolutely love playing up the surrogate mother/mentor bit--I SCREAMED when Lydia was touching Margaret’s face all like “you always tell your mother in the end, bless you, love”--and Lydia’s obsession with Margaret after she’s left her employ, but I don’t like actual use of “mummy” or similar in sex. With that said: I’d love Lydia training a younger Margaret (maybe at least 14 or 15 here?) into more advanced sex work, with the inherent affection and emotional/sexual abuse that involves, and some pretty hard dubcon is fine. I’d also love them both as adults having bizarre hate sex. Maybe Margaret agrees to fuck Lydia or something to try to get Charlotte back? Or they just have run of the mill enemies/rivals with benefits sex when they need some particularly grody/shameful release but can’t bear to go to anyone they actually admire for it?
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Age Difference: Yes, yes, and yes. Feel free to play up Lydia’s age in comparison to Margaret and Charlotte--no actual use of “mummy” or similar in sex, please, but them kinking on her expertise in some fucked up way, or her kinking on her authority due to age over them, or both, is great.
  
• Antagonism Leads to Sex, Enemies with Benefits, Hate Sex, Rivals with Benefits: Really what this is mostly all about in all its forms. Be it out and out, shuddering, nasty hate sex or something more subdued but still tinged with antagonism/hate, I’m here for it. Some sort of business deal requires working out through sex? Charlotte is driving Lydia crazy/misbehaving with a client and they work out their professional antagonism via sex? Margaret helps Lydia escape the noose for kidnapping and they have grudging sex-for-release-only afterwards?
  
• Caning, Whipping: Lydia training her girls to take the abuse, either directly wielding the cane/whip herself or just watching someone else do it, would be great, as would a desperate Margaret or Charlotte turning the whip hatefully on Lydia before breaking free of her control. (Lydia would be grudgingly into it but also extremely embarrassed/enraged?)
  
• Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting: Lydia demanding it from her girls and getting it. Consensual/dubcon hate cunnilingus in all its forms. Lydia using it on Margaret or Charlotte as a means of attempting to pacify them, and they’re into it but also of course hating it because they hate Lydia. Face-sitting in general as an attempted power move.
  
• Degrading Praise: Lydia praises Margaret’s large breasts, or Charlotte’s particularly skillful harlotry, and does it in such a skeevy way.
  
• Dubious Consent: Anything involving teenaged Margaret and Charlotte would probably fall into this, as would, well, basically all their sex due to Lydia’s position of power over her girls. But also--Lydia trying to convince Margaret to go in on a deal and sealing it with sex that Margaret accepts but isn’t wild about, because it’s Lydia, and/or hates herself for enjoying in the moment (because it’s Lydia)? Lydia taking some sort of wild hatesex with Charlotte as the aggressor as a means of securing Charlotte’s place in her house and being mildly ashamed but wildly aroused by the temporary switch in status/power?
  
• Experienced/Inexperienced: An experienced Lydia needing to use hands-on training of Margaret in something when she’s still in the House of Quigley, or attempting to teach Charlotte to be even gentler/more high-class considering the house’s reputation? Or Charlotte being even more skilled at some sex act and using it on Lydia as a means of attempting to gain a favor, and Lydia going with the flow?
  
• First Time with a Woman: Charlotte has never actually been with a woman before and must for some client (a married couple, maybe, a la the Reptons?), so Lydia takes her in hand to teach her hands on. Lydia training Margaret to be with women.
  
• Glove Kink: Lydia cannot stop dreaming of Charlotte’s hands in new fancy gloves. Lydia using her own gloves as a means of seduction/power over her girls and involving them in sex of some sort.
  
• Jewelry Kink: Lydia has fabulously gaudy jewelry. Maybe Charlotte takes a particular gawking to it and allows herself to be dressed in it for the sheer greed and wonder of it all? (She does indeed like the finer things she can get her hands on.) Charlotte reveling in the wealth in the general around her at Lydia’s and feeling the pull of it toward the unethical side of harlotry?
  
• Mentor/Protege: So much of all their interactions in general. Feel free to play it the hell up, as it’s one of my biggest kinks and I love it and the pseudo parental cast it takes on in the series.
  
• Ritual Sex as a Right of Passage: Maybe Lydia’s girls have some elaborate ritual they have to go through before they’re allowed access to a certain level of client, and it involves them proving themselves on Lydia?
  
• Semi-Public Sex: Some sort of argument or power struggle or something is happening within earshot of the other girls, and it escalates anyway into full-on sex with barely a wall or door or curtain or something in between. Also, just in general most sex in any sort of whorehouse would probably be this, due to the nature of the transactions occurring.
  
• Sex Lessons: Lydia teaching her girls something hands-on. Charlotte proving that she knows some bizarre trick by using it on Lydia.
  
• Thigh-High Tights/Boots: I love, love, love the stockings and ribbon garters used to hold them up, so any sort of kinking on that or their use in sex in general is A+. Also, if there’s any sort of travelling outside London, or being forced to dress down and pretend to be extra working class for some reason, maybe they’re in thigh-high boots or similar?
  

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LES LIAISONS DANGEREUSES | DANGEROUS LIAISONS - CHODERLOS DE LACLOS

I love the decadence of the underlying society, the grotesque riches involved, the constant social posturing and boredom that leads to the amoral insanity in the first place, the aesthetics of letter-writing and affairs and disgusting luxury and long hair on men and crazy balls and dresses. Everyone is an actor in an enormous play, with public vs. private personas and vicious stakes hidden underneath the laconic witticisms exchanged, and that is so fun to play with. I particularly love Merteuil, so richly characterized, protofeminist in a sense (her search for agency/respect/revenge) and yet self-serving and horribly wretched toward other women, but I also love and feel bad for Cecile’s and Danceny’s earnestness and naivete and find Valmont’s utter depravity (and his arrogance) amusing. I’m familiar with the book, the Frears movie, and the Hampton stage play and like all three, though I’m personally partial toward the Hampton ending when it comes to Merteuil’s specific fate. Epistolary fic, as well as first-person fic, is welcome for this canon, though not at all required, and feel free to use Isabelle and Sebastien as first names if you like, though overall I have no name preferences.

Ships

• Cecile/Merteuil: I really love the underlying affection, of a sort, here—though probably the more correct word is “fascination,” describing Merteuil’s amusement at Cecile’s antics until the spell finally breaks and she realizes how comparatively dull (read: moral after all) Cecile is. Any sort of look at Merteuil’s manipulation of her, and Cecile coming to recognize it for what it is or not, is welcome, especially playing with that pull of fascination and subsumated lust that come out at certain lines in Merteuil’s letter. More fun with them at the opera? Merteuil teaching Cecile sexual practices? Cecile managing to inartfully seduce Merteuil, in a way? Borderline dubcon is fine here, considering how brutal canon is on those points and how badly Merteuil mindfucks Cecile in canon, including Cecile being naive and/or overwhelmed by Merteuil’s experience.
  
• Danceny/Merteuil: I found it interesting how Merteuil is able to use Danceny as a boytoy in a way she doesn’t with anyone else—there’s a certain comfort there, perhaps because Danceny means so little to Merteuil emotionally compared to Valmont or even to Cecile. What does she really think of him? Danceny sexually servicing her, and she teaching him further tricks of a sort, would be fascinating. And does Danceny really care at all about Merteuil, considering how his heart is with Cecile? What is he getting out of it—fascination? Education? Her initially seducing him would be great, as would his opinion of her behavior and how he sees her (Does he know exactly how depraved she is? Does he come to know over time?)
  
• Danceny/Merteuil/Valmont: I’d love to see the tension in the three of them interacting, the deep history of Merteuil/Valmont overlaid with how casual and utilitarian they are toward Danceny and Danceny’s awareness (or not) of how little they seem to rate him. Danceny and Valmont servicing Merteuil, with Valmont barely controlling his jealousy and Danceny ignorant of most of it? Merteuil watching Valmont teaching seduction in a hands-on way to Danceny?
  
• Merteuil/Valmont: I really love their combined awfulness, the base level of amoral manipulation each has and how it combines into an enormous mess, the underlying emotions from their past that Merteuil successfully manages to leverage against Valmont while not remaining unaffected herself (IMO, anyway). Anything continuing in that canon vein is great, be it more friendly/based in camaraderie or more savage/vicious/jealous like at the end of canon when the wheels finally come off the carriage. Their first time meeting? Merteuil domming Valmont? Merteuil’s more private thoughts of Valmont when they’re not together? Other people they’ve teamed up to attempt to ruin over the years?
  
• Solo Merteuil: Merteuil is of course my fave character, so I’d just love to see her with herself. What and/or whom does she fantasize about? Does she do it in bed, in the bath, anywhere she pleases? It can be routine self-maintenance, her desperately hot about Cecile/Danceny/Valmont and unable to do anything else about it, her imagining working something out hatefully with Tourvel, essentially anything...
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Antagonism Leads to Sex: Arguing with Valmont and/or Danceny over their uselessness in the matter of plucking Cecile? Her antagonistic thoughts toward Tourvel leading Merteuil to masturbate angrily to the thought of Valmont’s other woman?
  
• Caning, Whipping: Merteuil beating a man in general is A+ content, especially Valmont if he’s being mouthy or generally a pain in her ass, but also Cecile (maybe to train her in the ways of of how terrible men can be, maybe just for pleasure). Or Merteuil really wants to feel pain but decides she can only allow that with Cecile, for some reason, or by imagining some faceless stranger whipping her while she wanks.
  
• Clothed Erection: Merteuil teasing Valmont or Danceny’s dicks, keeping them hard in their trousers for ages, playing with it only through fabric for the longest time. Valmont taunting Danceny’s dick this way while Merteuil observes.
  
• Clothes Pulled out of the Way: There are so many articles of clothing involved, all the skirts and petticoats and corsets/stays just on women alone, and I love people people so desperate to fuck that they just sort of yank away what’s absolutely necessary and go at it right there.
  
• Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting: Merteuil getting it for ages from one of the men, Merteuil training Cecile by either taking it from her or by eating Cecile out in an attempt to get Cecile used to the sensation (or to try to get Cecile to stand up for herself with her husband…)
  
• Desk/Table Sex: Merteuil’s and/or Valmont’s letter writing is interrupted by sex.
  
• Dubious Consent: Most of Merteuil’s sex with Cecile would probably fall under this, especially if Cecile is really uncertain about how much she wants it but Merteuil is just so charming and insistent.
  
• Erotic Bathing/Washing: Merteuil takes care of Cecile in the guise of friendliness and it goes far beyond that. Merteuil gets the men to take care of her while she bathes.
  
• Experienced/Inexperienced, Mentor/Protege, Sex Lessons: Merteuil teaching Danceny and/or Cecile something, and them kinking on her expertise. Valmont teaching Danceny how to please a woman by using Merteuil’s body as the target.
  
• Femdom: Merteuil domming Valmont for some slip he’s made/his general incompetence. Her taking control over Danceny and/or Cecile.
  
• First Time with a Woman: Cecile is entirely virgin, of course, so kinking on her inexpertise/the wonder/bizarreness of fucking a woman is great. If Merteuil has never fucked a woman before either and is intoxicated by Cecile enough to push through and do it, that’s also amazing. And a virginal Danceny being deflowered by Merteuil would be delicious.
  
• Kneeling: Either or both of the men on their knees for Merteuil. Merteuil imagining and wanking to some enemy (Tourvel?) on their knees before her.
  
• Masturbation: Merteuil wanking, in bed, in the bath, subtly in public somewhere, wherever. Merteuil watching one or both of the men wanking (and issuing instructions?). Merteuil teaching Cecile to wank.
  
• Pegging: Merteuil pegging one of the men, either as borderline punishment for some transgression or just because she wants to. Bonus for pegging one while the other watches and gets off on it.
  
• Restraints: Valmont, Danceny, or Cecile bound beneath Merteuil’s attentions, as she drives them crazy. Merteuil wanking and imagining herself bound and yet still powerful.
  
• Sex Pollen: I love sex pollen used in highly restrictive and/or repressive societies, forcing through the awkwardness of the world around them. Merteuil being driven to desperation (and wanking or taking sex from someone else) is fine, but so is mutual sex pollen, or one of the others being sex pollen’d and being so desperate for Merteuil and her taking her sweet time in granting them release.
  
• Small Penis Kink: Mostly I imagine this is Valmont’s tiny dick, tbh, and Merteuil taunting him for it/getting off on how perfectly tiny it is and how it forces him to be creative with his hands and/or mouth. A bit of humiliation is completely, 100% good; I just love the idea of the infamous womanizer Valmont actually having quite a small dick, or an average-sized dick that Merteuil nonetheless taunts (and which Valmont thus gets off on).
  
• Woman on Top: Merteuil riding everyone. Cecile attempting to exert some sort of control and ending up astride Merteuil, much to Merteuil’s surprise but pleasure.
  

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PHANTOM THREAD (2017)

I went to see Phantom Thread expecting it to be very male-focused, and though it is to an extent, I was surprised by how rich the women of this world are and how fascinating their relationships with Reynolds and one another are, so much so that I’ve now seen the film three times and counting. I love the rich texture of everything, the lush fabrics and settings, the grandiose House of Woodcock itself and the country house, the detail of the fashion and the intimacy of measuring and modeling, the soundtrack (I am a huge, huge mournful-piano-and-strings fiend), the insanely awkward meals and passive-aggressive eating and tea drinking, the black and dry humor that interlaces everything...and, yes, all the fuckery that unravels later on, the struggles for psychological control and female agency while still retaining membership in Reynolds’s sphere. Cyril ended up being my favorite--I am completely enthralled with her entire stoic elegant hard femme power broker aesthetic and with Lesley Manville’s face, and the ease with which she can be read as queer is a huge bonus--so she’s the focus here, but I do like all three with all their various issues.

Ships

• Alma/Cyril: So, I love putatively rival women who end up working together, which is essentially what happens here. Alma is truly a match in intelligence and fortitude for both Reynolds and Cyril--just the way she asks “what now?” before Reynolds even asks her to dinner that first time, this woman knows what she wants and will take it where society allows!--and Cyril’s slow, calm appreciation of that fact, the steady way with which she takes it onboard as a means to control her brother and keep their shared livelihood running, is wonderful. Also, Cyril pulls so many hilarious basically sexual power moves on Alma--smelling her, trying to order Alma around while Reynolds is ill (“let me be unambiguous”), and more--and Alma takes them all with such strength and grace and an ability to give back as good as she gets, and I just love the idea of them together, powering the House of Woodcock while Reynolds is off doing his designing or an AU where they kill off Reynolds and run away together or even just quietly fucking for stress relief off on the side while their lives run on as normal.
  
• Alma/Cyril/Reynolds: The weirdest threesome in London, and yet I’m so curiously invested in them as a stable and functional, if quietly fucked-up, triad, with the two women managing Reynolds and using him as their means of gaining their own hold in society while also trying to keep him from melting down/blowing up on them. I’m fine with Alma/Reynolds, but I’d love to see Cyril directly involved in any sex that occurs here, be it watching and directing them, using Reynolds for her pleasure while Alma watches, forcing Reynolds to watch as she fucks his wife (Reynolds, of course, getting off on it), or even something slightly calmer and less immediately kinky and fraught with power struggle.
  
• Cyril/Original Female Character: Cyril the happy, powerful spinster, willingly helping Reynolds with that first wedding dress despite the superstition of being forever a spinster. (Did she know even then she wouldn’t care to marry a man?) Cyril with a traditionally male name. She’s so easy to see as some flavor of queer, and I love to think she has a woman or multiple women on the outside. (Where does she go and what does she do offscreen, when she sends Reynolds on ahead to the country, when Alma asks her to leave for the evening for that disastrous dinner, or during the Christmas-New Year’s stretch?) Maybe it’s just some casual flings she fucks for the release, maybe it’s visiting a queer club/bar/teahouse/however things worked in 1950s London, maybe it’s someone long-term. I want it all, anything with Cyril and other women, her domming them or even her being dommed by one, her just enjoying non-Woodcockian company, however it works out.
  
• Cyril/Reynolds: They hit my codependent siblings kink hard, especially with the older sister-younger brother dynamic, and the bits of their childhood we get--Cyril helping Reynolds with the first dress, in particular, so understatedly sweet as well as practical--really adds to it for me. They need each other and use each other bitterly for their positions and stability in society, and yet they do love each other in some twisted way and can sit in perfect contented silence for hours. I’d love to see them together sexually--I do not imagine it would be in any way romantic, just Cyril disciplining Reynolds after some particularly awful thing he does, or getting a sexual need slaked, or Reynolds begging her to allow him release when he has no muse nearby or his current muse won’t oblige, at any point in their lives. Just make sure both are at least 16 or so first, please!
  
• Solo: Cyril Woodcock: How does Cyril get sexual release in and amongst her absurd, rarefied life? Her wanking pretty much anywhere and to anyone, male or female, is fine, whether she’s truly alone, uses it as an attempted power move while Alma and/or Reynolds watch, wanks at some seedy 1950s sex club-type place watching other people fuck, whatever!
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Age Difference: The older sister-younger brother dynamic is ripe for this to an extent, especially considering the maternal role Cyril at times plays to Reynolds, but so is Cyril’s more significant age gap over Alma and the push and pull of their relationship on the way to tentative stability. I’d also be very interested in Cyril having a pretty young thing she uses for sexual release somewhere.
  
• Antagonism Leads to Sex: Cyril and Reynolds arguing over something (Reynolds being stubborn?), Alma and Cyril’s little stand-offs in the house turning sexual, Reynolds acting extravagantly obnoxious and turning both women on him to get their release and his penitence...
  
• Caning: Reynolds has a strong eau de boarding school about him, and I’d love to see him caned, by Cyril, by Alma, by both of them together. I’d also love to see Cyril turning schoolmarm on Alma or some other woman, or even she herself submitting to the cane wielded by Alma or some other woman when it all gets too much in Cyril’s head. Maybe even her wanking to the idea of being caned by some schoolteacher?
  
• Codependency: Cyril/Reynolds is the screamingly obvious here, so feel free to play up their love-hate-indifference neediness for one another, but also I’m interested in seeing the Woodcock threesome and how Alma, even as she stirs them up into something new, can't entirely avoid falling into a folie a trois of sorts with the siblings and becomes codependent herself in some way.
  
• Competence Kink: Cyril’s business competency, even just the way she walks through the damn house with such utter professionalism and conviction, is lovely to witness, and I’d love her using that pull on Alma, or on some random woman.
  
• Cuckolding: I’m thinking here mostly of Cyril fucking Alma while Reynolds watches, either directly in front of him (with him restrained so he can’t interfere, and her making remarks about how she’s stealing his wife and fucking said wife better than he ever could?) or just obliquely but so that He Knows and they all three get off on it.
  
• Cunnilingus: Cyril getting Alma to eat her out, or turning the tables and eating Alma out herself, much to Alma’s pleasure but also disquiet, wondering what Cyril may be up to next. (Even just quieter, more mutual cunnilingus postcanon, as the house settles down.) Cyril sitting on Reynolds’s face and making him eat her for penitence. Cyril using some other woman for release, either being eaten out or because she craves the taste of cunt herself.
  
• Desk/Table Sex: I love Cyril’s office, and just...her fucking someone against that desk, yes please. Reynolds, when he comes in to whine about Alma? Another woman, whom Cyril sneaks in during the workday, fucks, and then dismisses?
  
• Femdom: Mostly Cyril as the dom, with essentially anyone. (She has such a strong dommey aesthetic to me, and I love it.) I’d also be interested in seeing her submit to Alma, though, or to another woman in general and how Cyril uses that abdication of responsibility.
  
• Glasses Kink, High Heels, Jewelry Kink: I love so much of Cyril’s get-up. (I especially love her carrying around her glasses, the way she takes them off and smooths her hair behind her ears.) I love her various rings, including the ring she wears on her middle finger, and I love her neat, determined stride in heels, echoing around the house even before she comes into frame. Anything kinking on these and her general aura of power and command would be A++.
  
• Kneeling: Reynolds kneeling to Cyril as she uses him is foremost in my mind here, but also her imagining and wanking to someone kneeling before her, or her getting submission from Alma via kneeling.
  
• Masturbation: Cyril wanking anywhere, with anyone watching. Cyril forcing Reynolds to wank without allowing him to actually touch her (or her forcing him to watch as she wanks without being able to touch her or himself). Cyril taunting Alma through masturbation.
  
• Poisoning Someone to Take Advantage of Them, Sex While Ill: So, yes. The elephant in the room, and yes, it does work for me. Alma poisoning Reynolds again (now with him knowing) and she and Cyril using it as an excuse to fuck each other and/or him while he’s laid low? (In general, the question of how much Cyril knows, suspects, or comes to learn about Alma’s skill with mushrooms and her means of controlling Reynolds is of great interest to me.) Cyril deciding to use it herself to control Reynolds while Alma’s away? Cyril poisoning both Alma and Reynolds and taking advantage of them (with or without their express consent)?
  
• Smoking: Cyril is the only one of the three we see smoke onscreen, IIRC, and I’m all for using that. Her using it as stress relief and part sexual jollity while wanking? Reynolds craving his sister’s cigarettes and her making him pay with sex before he can have one? Cyril smoking/sharing cigarettes with her partners during sex?
  
• Thigh-High Tights/Boots: I love the stockings of the time/in the film, and Cyril slowly revealing them to her partner, as power move and as partial piece of intimacy, is excellent, as is her perving on another woman’s stockings/tights or boots.
  
• Voyeur Gives Directions: Cyril ordering Alma and Reynolds around in the bedroom as they fuck. Alma ordering the two siblings to fuck. Cyril at some sort of sex club ordering two women as they fuck in front of her.
  
• Wall Sex: Really I just love the visual of Cyril with her skirts pulled up against a wall getting all she can frenetically get out of her partner, either allowing them to do all the work or by being aggressive herself.
  
• Younger Person is In Charge: Alma bossing Cyril around and Cyril taking it for once in her life, Alma poisoning both siblings and using it as control over them (with or without their express consent), Cyril being dommed by some random woman younger than her...
  

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ROME (TV 2005)

I love the visual aesthetics of canon, the glorious Roman cityscape and the costumes and jewelry and elaborate hair teasing and social posturing and sprawling cast and scope and mythology/religious/political rites/rituals and the strong sense of family and vengeance. I love the women of the series and the almost underworld in which they live, the schemes they run for their own attempts at some sort of power and their relationships with one another, both those purely emotional and those more obviously tainted by their heavily patriarchal society. I love Servilia in particular, her Lady Macbeth-ing of Brutus and her attempts to gain agency/respect/revenge, all wrapped up in a more stoic and matronly outside with a strong undercurrent of fascination and seduction, albeit in a much less flashy way than with Atia. I am familiar with but rusty in the historical period and the Latin language, so if you’re really into that and want to throw other stuff in, that’s great, but I’m also fine with just sticking to history and characterization as canon presents it, including the relatively soapy tone and scope.

Ships

• Atia/Servilia: They’re so awful, and so witty, and so desperately reaching out for whatever agency they can grab a hold of, and I can’t help but wonder about their past and their potential for vicious hatesex of some sort, or even some sort of more amicable relationship before they became entirely bitter. The contrast in how they try to carry themselves—spitfire/chaotic vs. dutiful/patrician—is delicious to play with, as is the overriding obsession they have, and how even after her death, Servilia manages to unsettle Atia and, indeed, appears to take away a lot of the joy she might have gotten from Octavian’s successes by managing to poison Atia’s mind. Them playing fucked up dubconny hatesex games? Them playing with bondage and the like in borderline dub/noncon ways? Them scheming with and against each other at dinner parties and other social events?
  
• Caesar/Servilia: More of Servilia’s relationship with Caesar at the high points, before canon starts, would be great—how do they interact? (I love Servilia beating Caesar at dice and kicking over the dice board, that moment of high-spirited freeness and wantonness before it’s all crushed.) What does she offer him that Calpurnia cannot, both sexually and in terms of companionship? Why is Caesar drawn to her despite his better instincts even at the beginning of canon? Does she have him wrapped around her finger, or is it more of a meeting of curious/similar/desperate minds? How did they meet and begin their affair to begin with? Servilia holding the big, manly, important Caesar in the palm of her hand is especially good for me.
  
• Octavia/Servilia: Servilia corrupting Octavia is amazing to witness, but even more so for me is the question of how much Servilia was just playing her and how much it was genuine interest/lust/affection (and how much of that might have been sublimated lust/fascination with Atia). If I’m not misreading canon, they seem to have been some sort of fuckbuddy-type relationship for quite a period of time before it finally fell apart, so exploring how that developed (even though we didn’t get to see too much of it on screen due to time jumps) would be great. What else do they do besides weave? How much experience with women does either have before they start fucking each other? How much is anyone else aware of their sexual relationship? Do they fuck again somehow even after Octavia realizes she’s been played?
  
• Solo Servilia: I’d love to see Servilia acting on her untapped lust, as Brutus describes it at one point, be it in her bed, in the baths, alone in her atrium, wherever, fantasizing about power or a lusty slave or destroying Atia or her pursuit of Octavia or some entirely other person (someone from her childhood? Some fantasy suitor?).
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Age Difference: I love, love, love age differences, and kinking on Servilia’s age and experience compared to either Atia or Octavia is fantastic. Her skill, her worldliness (especially in contrast to Octavia, probably), her composure. Also Servilia getting off on the youthful enthusiasm of her younger partners.
  
• Altar Sex, Religion Kink: Servilia’s connection to religion is amazing, and I’d love any sort of hanky-panky in or around the altars in their house, no matter how sacrilege. (Servilia can feel guilty about it and get off on it anyway, she can take it in wild abandon, however it works out.) Her pretending to use a partner as a sacrifice? Them roleplaying some sort of bizarre rite?
  
• Clothes Pulled out of the Way: Too lazy to take stolas and togas all the way off, so they just make do and fuck still mostly clothed. Bonus points for being in frenzied situations in general--against a wall, for a quickie, whatever; maybe Caesar taking Servilia quickly while Calpurnia is in another room?
  
• Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting: The Romans had an...interesting...relationship to oral sex, outwardly declaiming it as something that rendered the giver impure. (In part, I believe, because they held the mouth to be sacred and didn’t want to pollute it with bodily fluids?) Kinking on this taboo aspect in particular with oral sex here is amazing, especially if it’s big manly-man Caesar nonetheless deigning to submit to Servilia by letting her ride his face.
  
• Dubious Consent: Servilia takes Octavia despite Octavia’s wariness. Servilia and Atia are both wildly angry and/or drunk and have astonishingly angry/bitter/regretful sex that borders on nonconsensual.
  
• Enemies with Benefits, Hate Sex: Pretty much all Atia/Servilia and some later-stage Octavia/Servilia. Why do Atia and Servilia end up fucking despite their mutual disgust for one another? Or Octavia returning to Servilia even after the mess with Octavian and the bitter sex that results.
  
• Experienced/Inexperienced: Atia teaches Servilia something she wasn’t aware she didn’t know. Servilia guides Octavia through her first experiences with another woman.
  
• Femdom: Mostly Servilia exerting control, explicitly or subtly, over Atia and Octavia through sex, but also her commanding Caesar in bed (maybe unexpectedly, and yet he finds he really likes it, despite the inherent shame also involved for a Roman male to be ordered around by a woman in such a way?)
  
• Having to Stay Quiet/Quiet Sex: Servilia and Caesar fucking somewhere they shouldn’t be. Servilia taking Octavia while Atia is nearby, trying to avoid Atia’s wrath. Servilia desperately trying to wank somewhere without anyone else knowing it.
  
• Kneeling: Caesar on his knees for Servilia, and her reveling in the power she holds over him.
  
• Laughter during Sex: Octavia and Servilia having a perfectly pleasant post-weaving-session bout of sex. Servilia and Caesar having another games night type situation, with fooling around and laughing in and amongst the sex.
  
• Masturbation: Servilia getting off, anywhere, any time, no matter how inappropriate. Servilia watching Caesar wanking, or Atia and Octavia.
  
• One Partner Uses Another as a Substitute for an Absent Third Party: Servilia fucking Atia as a means of pretending to be with Caesar, or using Octavia as a substitute for her mother, though the other one doesn’t know it.
  
• Restraints: Servilia tying her partner up, or being tied up by Atia and both loathing and loving the experience.
  
• Sex in Water: Sex in the baths somewhere (I love the baths and the entire public bathing spectacle, though it can also be privately a la Atia and Antony’s many various bathing conversations in canon)
  
• Sex Lessons: Servilia teaching Octavia to fuck, or trying to teach Caesar what she likes best (compared to what he normally would do with his wives)
  
• Whipping: Servilia using the whip on someone, but also either Atia or Octavia turning it back on her as part punishment for all the wretchedness she’s poured on the Julii.
  

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TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY (2011)

I love to have the canon's low-key melancholy air as a background for sex romps, particularly the Greek tragedy of Bill/Jim. Go wild: betrayal, infidelity, cuckolding, love despite better sense, desperate loyalty in order to keep one's sanity in a murky amoral world, quick sex, sex when you know better, borderline or outright kink, and more. Book and/or movie canon welcome as you see fit for it, and feel free to draw on the extended Karla Trilogy if you know it.

Ships

• Bill Haydon/Jim Prideaux: Almost literally anything, but I'd especially love earlier days, thick as thieves together working some case and fucking on the side, Oxford fucking, who knows. I'm especially fond of seeing the potential ways in which Bill loves Jim (despite himself), even later when Bill is a committed mole. I also like the idea of Bill being peculiarly undone by Jim despite all the other people he's had, so showing Bill's weakness for Jim even with others on his skin is intoxicating to me.
  
• Bill Haydon/Jim Prideaux/Original Male Character: Hi, so, yeah, any permutation of Bill/Jim/another is good, but the idea of them roleplaying a cuckold situation (or just Jim in general getting off on watching Bill seducing and being with another, especially if Bill's getting fucked hard by that other), when there's (unspoken?) IRL infidelity present, makes me extremely happy. Feel free to play up the irony.
  
• Solo Bill: I love Bill and his arrogance and his general terribleness, and I love imagining him desperate and needy and wanking, to Jim, to some woman in his head, to George or Karla...
  

Kinks and Prompts

• Bringing Another Partner Home as a Present for One’s Primary Partner: Either Bill or Jim decides to bring home a third for the other to use while there’s some voyeurism/ehibitionism going on--a formal rentboy, some other member of the circus like Peter, whomever.
  
• Caning: Using that public school background for good, of course. Can include roleplaying some vaguely teacher/student stuff if you like, though not required. I do have a preference for a mouthy BIll getting caned, but Jim on the receiving end is okay too.
  
• Clothed Erection: Imagining one or both of them hard as hell in their trousers still, unable to do anything about it for a while at work, particularly if the other is involved and is teasing somehow, and then finally getting to do something about it with wicked teasing, mouthing at it only through clothing for a while...
  
• Cock Slut: Okay, I have a completely self-indulgent aesthetic NEED for Cock Slut Bill Haydon, him being desperate for cock, any cock, maybe particularly Jim's cock, but really, just cock.
  
• Competence Kink: They're spies—not flashy ones, but still. Bill's skills at playing other people get someone hot and hard. Jim's fighting skills drive Bill crazy.
  
• Cuckolding: Bill and Jim ironically roleplaying it. Jim knowing he's not the only one but fucking loving it anyway. Bill imagining himself being cuckolded for once and getting off on the fantasy and the irony of it all.
  
• Dream Sex: Bill dreams of Jim, even while he’s actively betraying him (maybe BECAUSE he’s actively betraying him?) and can’t get enough. Or while they’re separated for a period of time during the war or while Jim is out in the field? Or Bill dreams of a threesome situation...
  
• Frottage: Desperate fast frotting at Oxford, in the Circus, in the field somewhere to avoid detection. Slow and loving frotting to maximize skin contact.
  
• Hand Jobs: Either slow and loving or fast and hard or angsty or some horrendously wonderful combination of all three is fine with me...
  
• Intercrural Sex: Jim’s athletic thighs being put to good use, or Bill being spread-eagle on a bed for Jim to take his pleasure out of Bill’s own thighs.
  
• Masturbation: Bill jerking it, whenever, wherever. Can be in his own bed/house or somewhere wildly inappropriate, alone or with Jim or someone else watching him, pretty much however you please.
  
• Neckties and the Many Uses Thereof: Some office sex of a sort going a bit wild? I’d prefer the ties mostly used as restraints/for some light bondage-type stuff, but if you want to use them as gags (Bill gagged with his own tie?) or even for some very light playing around with choking, I’m good with that too.
  
• Open Relationship: I imagine they essentially had this, whether they really discussed it or not, and that Jim took Bill’s various infidelities with acceptance (maybe even getting off on it a bit?).
  
• Prostitution: Hiring a prostitute to serve as a third. One hiring a prostitute when they can’t be with the other but imagining the other the entire time anyway. (Jim doing this after Bill’s death would be….Hella Much, but also amazing.)
  
• Pushy Bottom: Bill in particular, being whiny or desperate or fake lazy but also trying to control the show. Jim or the third can be indulgent or not, as you like.
  
• Shower Sex: Them filthy from rugby at Oxford and needing to clean together? Them in the field having to take joint showers to save water/time?
  
• Spitroasting: Bill between Jim and someone else. Bill and Jim making eyes over a rentboy or some other third party. Jim between Bill and someone else.
  
• Submissive Aggressor: I love Bill nagging and nagging for sex, dragging a somewhat indifferent or nonchalant Jim into it, and then promptly turning into Subby Mcsubberson for Jim, perhaps sensing/believing that he deserves it for all the hell he’s secretly wreaking on Jim’s life.
  
• Talked to Orgasm: Either Bill using his vocal skills on Jim or Jim talking up nonsense about Bill until Bill comes (maybe from hearing Jim talk, semi-sarcastically, about how great Jim is?)
  
• Under-Desk Blow Jobs: More office shenanigans--I’m particularly partial to Bill blowing Jim while Jim attempts to remain stoic, but Jim also taking something out on Bill and making him suffer slightly at the office would also be great.
  
• Unexpected Tenderness: Bill’s done something awful, Jim knows it, Bill expects the worst and yet Jim is weirdly, almost unbelievably tender anyway and Bill can’t quite believe he deserves any of it, maybe wracked a bit with guilt. Or Jim being treated with unexpected tenderness after a hard day (unexpected because Bill usually isn’t tender?) and the beautiful, painful irony of Jim trusting and loving Bill in that moment...
  

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